Twitter Trending Topics: God Help Us All

I feel like it's been too long since I spent an inordinate amount of time over analyzing something. So here we go: Twitter trending topics. Now, for those of you who "tweeting" and find yourself wondering what the heck a trending topic is, just leave. Now. If you're not on Twitter or haven't at least ventured over there to check it out, in all seriousness, I'm not sure how you're surviving in the world today. Do you still have a Zack Morris phone? Are you Amish?

I'll admit, the trending topics have been a source of lots of breaking news for yours truly. There are lots of important things that I might not have known about for a while without them. Like Michael Jackson's heart attack... thing. And something about one of the Jonas Brothers getting engaged. Oh, and that time that the full length trailer for New Moon was leaked on YouTube. You know, all the really important stuff.

Now, when there is a seeming lack of important news out there for the twittering population to get all tweet-crazy about, there is a lot of #uselesscrap that shows up. I mean, really? #Somethingaintright was a top trend the other night. What does this even mean? Why, people, are you continuing to keep this at the top by posting such gems as "If u can afford gucci and LV.. but can't afford to get the extra 9 sets of teeth out of ur mouth #somethingaintright." Wow, thanks, @itsjessybaby. You've clearly made a point. Zing.

Other trending topics that make me wonder about the future of our society:
#OMGFacts
#willgetyouslapped
#eggplant
#whatchutalkinboutwillis
#3drunkwords
#ohnoyoudidnt#pedamundo
#playedout

Now, I made a couple of those up. Sad part? You have NO way of telling which ones aren't real. On average there are 1.9 million tweets per day. To become a trending topic, I found something online that says a topic must be tweeted about 1200 times in an hour. That means that 1200 people were tweeting about #eggplant in the same hour for some unknown reason.

Like I said... God help us all